Thursday, February 17, 2011

Two long weeks

My absence here has been deeply felt...but I have not let my faith slip these last two weeks, because I have been doing the Lord's work.

By making money.

I unexpectedly found a temporary legal job in downtown Chicago on a document review project and, after consultation with my hubby, decided to take it. He took a few days off work. Two sisters-in-law and a brother-in-law pitched in to help out. I have been getting the kiddies off to school in the morning, leaving about 9am after a relative comes by to baby-sit, starting work at 10am, then punching out at 6:30pm and heading for home.

I miss my little ones.

They are doing just peachy though. My almost 2 year old especially seems to enjoy having different people around each day and a variety of fun things to do, like outings with Daddy and playing with her 2 week older cousin when that sis-in-law comes to babysit. My 4 year old son is happy to have so much computer and electronic game time (I am not limiting it while I am gone so much). My big kids are really pitching in to help. My husband is really picking up the slack.

But this will not continue.

Despite my occasional stay-at-home mom fantasies about skipping off to work at a posh office, the reality is not nearly so glamorous. The law firm I am working at on the 23rd floor of a Chicago high-rise is gorgeous, with ivory marble walls and floors and frosted glass partitions everywhere.

All I can think of is Jesus talking about "white-washed tombs."

Most of the people working there seem either annoyed or cranky or just desperate and lonely. I see junior associates in front of computer screens, not talking to anyone, for HOURS on end. The place just feels "dead" to me. A money-making, soul-sucking factory.

I can't wait to take my money and back...

to being the mommy who makes my baby smile and dance when I walk in the room;
to being the mommy who makes healthy, delicious dinners we all sit down to at 6pm to eat and share our day;
to being the mommy and wife who keeps this busy ship of 6 children smoothly sailing so that when my hubby walks through the door in the evening, he can just enjoy the love!

I took this job to make money to prove to my hubby that God will always provide for us, that I am willing to do the hard work needed to keep the family "in the black", to show that the adoption I am praying he will agree to IS financially possible...

but what I really did is prove to myself that being a wife and mother is the BEST job in the world, and I want to keep it, and keep working at it, for a very very very very very long time!


  1. This is a fascinating post. I completely know how you feel...I spend too much time complaining to the Ogre that I don't get the option to just leave, to go work, to finish my Master's. I wonder how I'd really feel if I had that chance? Sad, probably, since I miss my children during the odd hour I take once a month or so to go read at Starbucks.

    I've been thinking about you, your husband, and your quest for adoption often lately. I truly hope that God will work his will there. Adoption is something I'd love to be able to consider one day, when we can afford basic necessities, but until then I think that those who do decide to adopt, especially special-needs children, are just amazing.

    Good luck with your last week as a career woman! If I were you, I'd wear pajamas the whole week after you get back home.

  2. Calah you are my kind of gal! A day in PJ's (drinking coffee) is better than winning the lottery!

    Thanks for your thoughts and prayers...I am trying so hard to be faithful and patient and let the Lord work in his mysterious ways...

    when all I really want to do is shake my DH and scream "SCREW THE 401(K)...LET'S GO SAVE THIS BABY!!!!"

    but that would not be quite so Christian, would it? ;-)